Tuesday, June 4, 2013

New Caregiver's Perspective

following is a letter that my new Caregiver Samantha Means put together to help me describe some of my health issues and needs, thank you for taking the time to read it and be concerned for me as your friend and Sister in Christ...I'm also going to post it on my FB page Awareness 4YSIC because I believe it is a truly considerate and appropriately helpful letter for any and all who are concerned about my health situation...


As Lori’s caregiver, soon to be recognized by the State, I’ve done extensive research to fully understand what Lori’s body is going through to better take care of her when the time calls for it.  I believe it’s very important for others close to Lori to also understand what is happening to her liver and the affects it has on her mind and the rest of her body.  Please feel free to share this information with anyone else you believe might benefit from it.
She has what’s called non-alcoholic cirrhosis of the liver, also known as chronic liver disease, or fatty liver disease.  This is a chronic illness, meaning it’s ongoing and incurable (except in the long-term form of a liver transplant). Chronic liver disease is the continual scarring of the liver until it is no longer able to function.  The liver’s primary purpose is to process all of the nutrients and toxins that go into the body.  This isn’t just food, it includes lotions we put on our skin, products we put into our hair, and the chemicals used to clean our homes that we inevitably inhale and get on our hands. 
Cirrhosis of the liver means the liver is turning into scar tissue and, over time, this makes it difficult, eventually impossible, for the liver to process any of the nutrients and toxins it’s supposed to process in order for the body, as a whole, to function.  It is this condition that gave her Type 2 Diabetes.
The liver has what’s called a portal vein, which transfers 75% of the blood, nutrients and toxins to the liver for it to process.  As the liver turns to scar tissue, the portal vein suffers.  Toxins and blood back up in the portal vein, much like a kinked hose.  Eventually, these toxins and the blood have to go somewhere.  As Lori’s condition progresses, it will lead to hemorrhaging, or internal bleeding.  In her current stage of cirrhosis, toxins flood her blood stream, which causes severe damage to her other organs, such as her kidneys, bladder, stomach and colon, or intestines. This would explain the continual problems Lori has had with kidney infections, being in and out of the hospital with UTI’s (urinary tract infections), and her more recent development of gastroparesis.
Gastroparesis is a condition in which the muscles in her stomach don’t function properly.  It prevents her stomach from emptying correctly and interferes with digestion, causing nausea, vomiting and many problems with blood sugar levels (visit MayoClinic.com for more information).  In the previous six weeks since agreeing to take care of Lori, it has been common for her blood sugars to be at 110, which are good, and drop to 56 in less than 30 minutes.  If Lori’s blood sugars drop into the 30s, her body has a very high chance of going into a coma.  Just this previous Sunday (June 2nd), Lori had three episodes of dropping to the low 40s in less than 18 hours.  I’ve monitored her eating habits and she has a strict diet that I help her maintain.  The fluctuations are due to the gastroparesis, caused by her chronic liver disease.  Apart from treating the symptoms, there is no cure for gastroparesis.  It isn’t like an infection and needs a simple antibiotic.  Unfortunately, her body has not been willing to cooperate very effectively with the medications. 
In addition to this, toxins unable to be processed by her liver that spread to her abdominal organs also spread to her brain.  It leads to dizzy spells, confusion, double vision, disorientation and the like.  This is the primary reason Lori cannot drive a vehicle.  It would be like handing keys to someone who is chronically intoxicated.   There are times during the day Lori is doing well, but there are also days, sometimes several days in a row, where it’s difficult for her to cross a room without grabbing hold of something for balance.  This imbalance leads to very dangerous falls.  The last one caused her to shatter her left wrist, which now has a plate and eight screws in it.  One of the symptoms of chronic liver disease is osteoporosis.  She is prone to easy breaks, hence her wrist.  Because of this, the safest form of exercise is for Lori to be in a pool.  She cannot go on long walks because she lacks the energy, and also because of the likelihood she could fall and have another bad break.  It’s very important for Lori to be able to be active, because in order for her to be eligible for a liver transplant when the time comes for it, she needs to be at a certain weight, which is where the pool comes in.  Any other form of activity, with her imbalance, is simply too dangerous.
One sobering aspect of this condition is that in a matter of 48 hours, at any time, Lori can go from seeming perfectly healthy to hemorrhaging or go into a coma due to the cirrhosis.  This is the point where she’ll need a liver transplant.  There is no way to tell when this time will come.  It could be next year, five years from now, or as soon as tomorrow.  Each drop of her blood sugars, each trip to the hospital, and every time she’s spends a few days sick in bed could mean that time has arrived.
This is a lot of information to process.  I encourage you, as part of Lori’s small group, to do some research on your own about what is happening to Lori’s body in order to better understand what it is she’s going through.  We’re called to uphold the weak and be patient with all (1 Thessalonians 5:14), bear with one another (Colossians 3:13), comfort one another (1 Thessalonians 5:11), have compassion on one another (1 Peter 3:8), to not grumble against one another (James 5:9) and, above all, to love one another (1 John 3:11).  Lori can manage her symptoms to a point, but what’s happening to her body is essentially beyond her control.
While I am Lori’s official caregiver, she needs assistance 24/7 and I am not capable of doing that all on my own.  When her sugars drop at 2am and she’s unable to get out of bed to get the food she needs to get her sugars back up, I’m awake with her doing it for her.  This is not enabling, it’s helping someone who can’t help themselves, much like the Samaritan who helped the man beaten on the side of the road.  The same goes for when Lori needs a ride to small group, when she needs someone to sit with her at the hospital and write down what the doctors say because she can’t focus on his words, when she needs help picking up her son Alex from the bus station, or dropping him off when she gets to see him once every six weeks, or when she needs someone to help her pick up David from the Carlson’s house so she can have her one day out of the month with her grandson.  This is not enabling her.  This is helping a woman who is otherwise unable to do things on her own.  If she can’t find someone to help, she doesn’t get the help she needs, or she doesn’t get time with the people that matter most to her – her children and grandchild. 
It’s very important to remember that Lori must get worse before she gets better.  This disease will eventually kill Lori if she doesn’t get a liver transplant.  As time passes, the condition of her body worsens, and she needs more help.  Sometimes she’s unable to do the things she originally planned to do because her body won’t let her.  If Lori pushes herself too hard, she can wind up spending a week in bed while her body attempts to get back to what’s considered “normal” with her condition.  She tends to push herself too hard when she can’t get the help she needs from others, and will try to do it herself.  She’s learning to have me as a caregiver, but this is very difficult for a woman used to caring for others and being able to do everything on her own.  Please understand that when she asks for help, she’d rather not ask at all and do it on her own.  If she asks for help, it’s because she genuinely needs it.
I hope this letter clarifies what is going on with our sister, and that you find it in your heart to be understanding.  If you want to learn more about this condition, www.mayoclinic.com has a lot of useful links and more in-depth information.  If you have any questions, please ask Lori or myself and we’ll be more than happy to answer them and clear up any confusion.
Your sister in Christ,
Sam

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

ut gratulor

ut gratulor-to give thanks
I Thessalonians 5:18 calls us to "Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ."
     I will need this year to truly look through God's eyes to see with a grateful heart. This year I continue to struggle with a myriad of health issues but each day I continue to wake up and take another breath and as many physical, emotional and mental steps as I can accomplish each and every day.  I strive to bring God glory in all that I do and some days I am better at this than others just as most of you are.  We have our good days and our not so good, our highs and our lows and ups and downs that is the ecclesiastical way of life.  A full life will benefit from many seasons and be filled with a great many experiences in this journey we call life.  I have been blessed with 42 years such as this. I have lived overseas, enjoyed many mission trips, currently enjoying the academic arena, been married and blessed with two wonderful sons (Kevin & Alex), had many career opportunities and shared the love of family and friends. 
     I have also suffered through such things as domestic violence, divorce, chronic illness and the loss of loved ones and unfulfilled dreams yet my Lord has seen fit through all these experiences to help me find silver linings in my clouds and given  me an uncanny ability to keep moving forward in faith and courage and for this I am most grateful.
     This year finds me in the bittersweet arena known as the empty nest. I say it is bittersweet because on one hand I miss my sons so much at times I think my heart must surely have stopped  while on the other hand I am so very proud of all that my sons are accomplishing.  Alex is pursuing Carpentry and the finishing up of his high school diploma in Curlew WA at Job Corps, he seems to be settling in well, making friends and growing into a mature young man. Kevin has survived Boot Camp & Combat Training in San Diego and is a week away from finishing up his military schooling in North Carolina.  Kevin has also blessed me with my first grandchild and although it has been through a tumultuous group of events that no mother desires for her son, David James is the most beautiful grandson ever!  The bittersweet in all this is that Alex at age 16 is far from home and Kevin is about to go to the other side of the World to Okinawa for a 2 year stint at his first Permanent Duty Station.  Yet I am still able to give thanks because they are healthy, happy and apparently very successful in their own rights...no longer needing me as they once did. I know I will always be their mother and thankfully someone they respect and honor however I too have to enter into a new season.
     I am diligently seeking out God's will and discernment, keeping up on all my doctors appointments. Considering working on a book for the chronically ill with a good friend of mine, continuing to co-facilitate my group Living Richly & Fully With Chronic Illness, contemplating becoming a dog owner, where I might move to and striving to finish my Masters Degree by next December. I have also been blessed with a new extended family...my Bravo Family (other family members of Kev's Boot Camp Battalion) we chat daily on our beloved private Face Book page, sharing our joys and tears, red wine and red shirts on Fridays, pictures and prose, prayers and trials...it is truly one of my brightest spots in this past year. I am blessed and honored to call them friends and family.
                              "O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever." Psalm 30:12
     I pray all my friends and family have time to reflect on all that they are thankful for this year and that we are all continually blessed throughout the coming year. I pray that somehow each of us are able to reflect the heart of Christ as we seek to bring him eternal Glory, forever and ever AMEN!

Friday, October 19, 2012

ad ambulandum-to walk

 

So walking today I saw a man performing Kata in the park, it was absolutely beautiful. Lately I have noticed that whenever I get up enough energy to walk I meet and see the neatest people. Young women running, folks walking their dogs, young men playing basketball, this neat guy who builds picnic tables in his yard, kids with their moms at the playground and then there was this lone man performing an ancient ritual known as Kata in the middle of all these beautiful trees today. It was so quiet and peaceful and I found myself desiring that peace. So I did some research because as you know I just love research...lol maybe this latest class is starting to have an impact on me.


The form Seiunchin (also written as Seiyunchin) is a very popular Goju kata due to its flowing moves and atheistic appearance.
. Whilst Goju is a Buddhist art emphasizing hard/soft as are other Okinawan karate styles, Hsing I is one of the three internal Taoist arts.
If it takes 10 years to master the hard /external then it will take a further 20 years to master the soft / internal
In post war practice the emphasis has predominately shifted to the hard and external. In an over simplistic analogy, hard is the development of body strength and isolated body techniques to attack the opponent i.e. leg to kick, arm to punch. Whilst the soft uses relaxation and the whole mind / body to merge with the energy of the opponent to receive, defend and attack with flowing counters.
The development of energy and vitality in Chinese is Chi Kung or 'Energy Work' in Japanese it is Kiko. Chi/Ki is the life energy that is inextricably linked with the breath, blood and circulation. Martial Ki is not just one thing but a unified synthesis of many parts. 

Three personal qualities are required to study the martial way:
Intention of the spirit
Concentration of the mind
Discipline of the body.
The five initial stages of developing Ju or Internal power require:
Centring,
Relaxed extension and contraction
Co-ordinated joint alignment
Whole body awareness
Breath control 
 Sodokan Goju Karate Association
© Mike Clark 1997-2005.

 I find this Intention of the spirit to be a universal need for anyone pursuing internal peace. And discipline whether we love it or not is required for success in almost all areas of life. Joint Alignment and an awareness of your body is good for everyones health and Breathing is of course essential and when controlled has been found to lower blood pressure and calm anxiety and is essential to life. So Buddhist principles aside I found Kata to be something worthy of pursuit and may have to find a class.  And all this research is a result of my afternoon walk - ad ambulandum
Thanks God for keeping my life interesting :)

Monday, October 15, 2012

sapientia-wisdom

I thought "Age should speak; advanced years should teach wisdom." But it is the spirit in a man, the breath of the Almighty, that gives him understanding. Job 32:7-8

So tonight I was invited into this exclusive club...lol it was a group of women who find themselves like me in the special and unique fortunes to now be called "Grandmother" or in Latin "Ovia."  I thank you Lord for these women and for this wonderful life experience which I honestly wasn't sure that I would get to participate in.  For a couple of hours I got to listen, share and pray with these wonderful women.  We all had the same desire...how can we create a legacy, how can we be godly grandmothers? We shared life experiences, laughed and gave each other advice and I was reminded that not only does God desire to be our guidance but he desires for us to lean on each other and look to one another for fellowship and a helping hand all according to our needs and abundance.  I read somewhere that our laughter can drown out the clock and if that's the case tonight was timeless and priceless. Tonight was a glimpse into the divine and I am eternally grateful for the experience.
 "Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained by a righteous life." Proverbs 16:31

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Trepidationem

     Just in case your Latin is weak that is Excitement and now that the 1st of August is officially here my excitement level is truly on the rise.  I will be seeing Kevin in 30 days and I couldn't be happier or prouder.  In his last letter home he told us he shot excellent on the range which is so awesome, I always knew Kev would do well in the military but to get the best is more than a mother can hope for.  Alex is doing well but due to the fact that it took so long to get all his paperwork in and some other complications it looks like he will not be entering Job Corp until sometime in late September and even possibly as late as October. So we will now have to look at enrolling him into the local high school until his number comes up.  Since we moved we are not sure where exactly that will be and are hoping Lewis & Clark will just let him attend classes there until he goes in but we shall just have to wait and see.  In case you weren't in the know over this last week I have been in and out of the hospital way too many times and seemed to be suffering from a double kidney infection which truly kicked my behind but I am slowly recovering and feeling better every day!  One of the mixed blessing of being sick was that one of my newest friends in this Marine journey was inspired to stop by on her way through Spokane to visit and it was so nice to meet Stephanie and her whole family.  Her youngest son Michael gave me a hug almost immediately bringing tears to my eyes.  I feel truly blessed to be a part of this new larger family and am getting excited for our Meet & Greet planned for the Wednesday before the graduation. A night of tears, laughs and love, can't wait!
     I have officially written for a grant from an organization called the Marine Graduation Foundation.  They help family members who can't afford to get to graduation, making it possible, so that no Marine will be standing alone on such a momentous occasion.  Whenever possible in the future I will surely support this organization and others like it.  Angela and Ben are going to head up Kevin's return party for Friday the 31st and Alanna's baby shower is tomorrow night and I am actually filled with "trepidationem" even thinking about being a grandmother.
     I have also hit another amazing milestone...I have officially been under the 300 lb mark for more than a week and this is awesome!  I have been working so hard for this goal and my nutrition, blood sugar numbers and exercise have all been in line...if I could have danced a jig this last week on the scale I surely would have.  So God all I am asking is that we have a smooth ride for the next month so that I can do all that has been set out before me...Marine Bootcamp Graduation, finish planning a wedding and continue preparing Alex for Job Corp! I am claiming this verse for the month and I pray you too can find your rest and peace in the LORD..."Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in him, for He shields him all day long, and the one the LORD loves rests between his shoulders." Deut 33:12

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Check In

So things are going well thus far with boot camp mentality...getting more rest, some good reading in, definately some more exercize and my nutrition has improved greatly.  I have lost about 15lbs thus far and am in general feeling better all around. We have had a few hiccups, Alexander came home from camp with a torn hamstring and is now currently in physcial therapy and may still have to have a possible surgery and I took a lovely little spill the other night on my daily walk with Angela and pretty badly sprained my ankle and left knee.  48 hrs out the ostrich size egg that balooned on my foot that first night is slowly dwindling but now I have a lovely combination of black, blue and purple to look at. I am hoping to be back in the YMCA pool by Monday morning with Sam and Sasha, we shall see what exactly I am able to accomplish but I will give it my best effort. Kevin has been writing relatively regularly, making some friends, suffered through bronchitis, dominating with pugil sticks and loves the high obstacle course which would make most of us pee our pants...lol :)

I have moved into the one and only bedroom here and Alex is temporarily in the living room until he leaves for Job Corp which might be held up a little with this injury but should be leaving by mid August, we will keep everyone informed.  I struggle with how quiet it is most days and especially at night with a door to shut out the world. Herathea mopes around missing Kevin and I try to face reality that pretty soon it will just be me, myself and I around here.  Not that I won't have God, my amazing friends and now my new family of other Marine Parents, fiance's and loved ones of those who have chosen to serve their country.  Honestly this last group has been the most amazing new addition. We email and face book each other daily, share and swap news and letters from all the boys @ MCRD San Diego, laugh and cry together and generally support each other in every way.  One of the Moms starts us off each morning with the most beautiful prayers and we are planning a meet and greet right before Marine Graduation on the 31st of August.  Although it's been difficult emotionally I am so excited to think that in 4 days we will be at exactly the half way point...44 days in with only 44 days left. I'm working on perfecting a play that I wrote back in my play writing class senior year at Gonzaga and we are hoping to do some fundraisers this summer for the donation account. Thanks to one of the sisters at church I now have a couple of face book pages for people who want to stay connected and informed about my journey, check out my profile and you will find them. With lots of time spent in the Word I am learning to feel safe in my shepherds arms..."LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;surely I have a delightful inheritance." Psalm 16:5-6. In case you don't know one of those pleasant places is going to be the realm of grandmotherhood.  Kevin will be a father and although I never thought I would live to see this day...August 28th little David James is due to make an appearance into this crazy world. Although the circumstances surrounding this were not planned and there has been some drama, for me it is a reason to believe in mixed blessings. God is miraculous and is taking care of Mother and Baby while Kevin is out trying to not only serve his country but provide for and make a decent living for his hopeful future family. I am so proud of my oldest son and his willingness to not only step up with maturity but to turn to God in his time of repentance and grace. We have such a loving Father and I am taking comfort in one of my favorite scriptures throughout this time..."For I know the plans I have for you declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jer 29:11 Please be happy with me in this and know that we are getting excited as both graduation from Marine Boot Camp and the birth of David James are approaching quickly! Thank you for your love, support and encouragement every day and for caring about my journey. Remember to Carpe Spero (Seize Hope) every moment of every day!

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Boot Camp

Romans 8:28: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (NIV)
OK so we know that a healthy goal is a good one and therefore I am going to step forward in faith tomorrow knowing that God will be by my side in this adventure...So if Kevin can endure some hardship and have some new lofty goals than so can I his mother.  Begining 2moro and until I reach my goal (maybe longer we shall just have to see) my alarm clock will awake me at the ungodly hour of O'dark thirty other wise known as 6 AM (UGH!) and I will do wall push ups, leg raises and a 20 minute mile, I have also recently  moved into the one and only bedroom within my tiny little abode and Alex is gone to camp so I will have no excuses this week not to get motivated and eat, exercise and arise and lie down at regular times.  This is the first day of many to come which shall represent my own dedication to a healthy lifestyle.  I have also pulled out my Boundaries book and Women, Food and God and plan on reading and taking notes and trying to apply some of the good principles from those hallowed pages as well as time in the Word.  Please feel free to join me, pray for me or just offer encouragement either online or in person.  If you would like to go for a walk, I would love to do that with you. let's set some time aside. I'm not exactly sure how this is going to go but it has been brought to my attention that I don't focus on myself enough so here goes my attempt to do so iin a healthy way. Because if I don't than I will never make it onto that transplant list and that just is not an option I am willing to give up. I heard it said somewhere that we can never know what heights we could soar to until we spread our wings, so here's to soaring with the eagles!