So today one of my discoveries is that I have unwittingly been allowing others to write the script for my life and I have also allowed others to direct, narrate and edit my personal narrative. This is not God's design but others. It is not to say that everyone who has been doing this has meant harm or their intent was malignant but some have meant those things and this has caused much damage. As I am now aware of what I have been unintentionally giving away, the biggest crime or shame would be if I were to continue to allow this to happen. Thankfully due to my oldest son, a wonderful counselor and some healthy loving friends I am beginning to write and live my own script. This is kind of scary but it is also exciting and new. I am redefining who I am, who I want to be and who I think God desires for me to be but no longer will I act out what others script for me unless I feel it is in line with mine and God's designs. I have finally realized that what I thought was empathy was driven by my fear of conflict and a deep desire to be perfect and please everyone at the expense of what was right and healthy for me thereby possibly in direct conflict with what God had in mind for me; because I was listening to others rather than my unconditionally loving Father I have unwittingly been living a lie. I want to live out truth, and in so doing bring eternal Glory and Honor to my Savior who died for me and claimed me as His valuable co-heir in the Heavenly Realm. There will be some of you who read this and not truly understand while others of you are nodding your heads and drawing similar conclusions in your own lives. For those of you who don't understand you may not like or appreciate some of the changes you will be witnessing in the next few weeks and months. However for those of you whose eyes have been opened like mine you will welcome me with open arms and we will most likely enjoy writing the rest of our life scripts as we continue as co-authors with our divine creator. I believe this will be a fruitful and more peaceful time for me and I look forward to discovering some new narratives in this journey we call life.
