Daily Miracles

So I have some amazing friends/angels around me who are so encouraging...they have been lifting me up physically, mentally and emotionally for some time now and for them and my sons and the Amazing God who is the most steadfast love of my life I am trying with all  my heart to hang on despite some of the physical and emotional battles as of late...so if you are up for it I could use those continued prayers and encouragement that you have all been so great at unconditionally given me in the past...I am physically getting weaker and it is playing a number in my head and heart and I still have so much to do yet so please pray I can stay focused on my writing, my love for my sons, little David James (my grandson) and doing a better job of living within these new physical limitations my disease is encumbering me with...Also as I am having more and more physical needs I will need to call on many of you even more, please Know that Samantha Means is my central caregiver but as my needs grow she cannot do it alone and I will need some of you to step up...feel free to call Sam or myself if you are interested in helping in any way and thank you for letting me get vulnerable and open with you. This is no easy thing I post today...but I love you all and want to continue to be as active as possible while bringing God Glory in all I do and say and that will require me to be humble and ask for help...
Thanks for listening and caring as many of you do and Please have a blessed rest of your Sunday

iustitia-righteousness

You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. (Galatians 3:26-29)

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. (Galatians 5:22-25 ESV)

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven (Ecclesiastes 3:1 ESV)

So with all these Supreme Court Rulings, the issue with Paula Dean and some of the many injustices we see our Marines and many in the military having to face on a daily basis; I was reminded of a paper I once wrote back in undergrad school. We were evaluating the differences between Dred Scott and John Brown both who have been historically linked as cogs in the great wheels of the Civil War. Please bear with me as I share with you my last paragraph of that paper and I hope and pray it will help you with some thought provoking ideas of just how we might respond even to the injustices of today’s society.

For those who respond to those injustices I applaud them for their courage, but caution all of us to make sure we are living within the laws that surround us and to remember that there are always consequences for all of our actions. There is also that eternal judgment that we will have to stand and face one day that should not be ignored through our passions, even those that are on the side of justice. The case of Dred Scott and the death of John Brown both helped hasten the Civil War and further polarized the differences between Northerners and Southerners (today between racists and bigots or between gays and heterosexuals between men and women, military and civilians etc…). I truly enjoyed a quote that I read from Frederick Douglas “my hopes were never brighter than now,” this was after hearing the decision not in his favor from the Supreme Court regarding the Dred Scott case. For Douglas the decision would bring slavery to the attention of the nation and was a step toward slavery’s ultimate destruction. As my great grandmother would say “that’s looking at the glass half full,” this is definitely how I try to look at all things. I think it is clear that John Brown’s tenacity unto death and Dred Scott’s persistence unto so called defeat were for many an eye opener to the true depths of the problems facing our fledgling nation. The problem of slavery had to be dealt with or we could never move on as a united nation. As I stated earlier I don’t know that I could sit in judgment of either John Brown or Dred Scott, but I can say that I personally would choose the path of least resistance and least violence. I think it is clear that Dred Scott was able to accomplish getting people’s attention regarding slavery just as John Brown was but I think I prefer Scott’s passive resistance over Brown’s violence. (As for today I want us to stop firing folks for having a difference of opinion or using language which we might find offensive, I don’t want bombings of abortion clinics, West-borough Church members picketing and rioting outside military funerals and the Supreme Court may hand down judgments which I don’t agree with but my plan will be to make calls to senators, write letters to congress members, vote and never be shy to share my opinion while doing my best to not be judgmental of my friends and neighbors in the process…mostly because this is what I believe God wants us to do as His followers and healthy members of society). Thanks for letting me babble on, I hope it encouraged you or inspired you to think.

     Father in Heaven in today’s complex society it is so easy to get derailed and lost. Tonight we ask for your guidance and direction in all of our thoughts, words and deeds. Please help us despite our circumstances to keep a cool head and be ever mindful of Your higher purposes. Please give us Your peace which passes all of our own understanding and bring us comfort in our grief’s, illness and our often broken spirits. Thank You for the compassion and mercies of Your Holy Spirit and help us to remember that our actions are and should be a reflection of the heart of Christ. Thank You for Your Son’s Awesome example of Sacrifice and Devotion and may we always look to Your Living Word for Unconditional Love and All Encompassing Assistance.

 In Jesus Holy & Precious Name We Pray all these things…AMEN!

fidei simplicitatem

     The simplicity of faith is resting in the idea that God loves us unconditionally no matter what frame of mind, what level of sin we are drowning in. No matter whether our hearts are filled to overflowing or broken beyond earthly repair. Whether our biologically given families are functional or dysfunctional. Whether we attend every church function or we choose to visit a friend in need. Whether we are filled with healthy vigor or struggling with physical disabilities and boundaries not of our choosing. God wants to comfort us and embrace us with an unconditional peace which passes all of our own ability to comprehend. That is the simplicity and complexity of Faith.
     There is nothing we can do to earn this unconditional love because by the very very definition that would alter this most simple yet multifaceted kind of love. We can rant, vent, cry, praise and worship; this love, this relationship will never be too burdened, too overwhelmed or unable to handle what we bring to the foot of the Cross. I personally have never never know or experienced such love, which is part of what makes this relationship so special, Thank You God for Your patience, sincerity, kindness and most especially for Your Holy Spirit this morning. I needed rest, comfort and love. You, Father always give more than I even knew I need. Love Your Daughter- Lori Leigh

Thank You for taking the time to follow my story friends and family and thank you for caring enough to invest your time and love for this Sister in Christ...May You all have a Blessed Monday and a spectacularly Blessed Week...I hope to be doing some more blogging and writing so please check in often and we can grow and learn together...God Bless

Update

OK so little update: saw the endocrinologist today and if we can get it approved she wants to have a CGM (constant glucose monitor) put on to track my levels every 5 mins so pray the state med will approve...she is also going to consult w/liver specialist to see if we should/can do some tests linking my blood sugar drops to problems w/the liver...have had a recent ultrasound which is finally beginning to show signs of a worsening liver with regards to it's enlarged size and newly yellowing color...YUCK! oh and for a bit I am back to monitoring my blood sugars b4 & after every meal...UGH! and on Monday I will head to Sacred Heart for upper & lower GI and Colonoscopy...OH YEAH! so let's pray the doc see's what he needs and we get some more answers and the State finally called and it looks like we are getting closer to getting Samantha Means approved as my new care giver so keep those prayers coming and thanks for caring and following my story <3

New Caregiver's Perspective

following is a letter that my new Caregiver Samantha Means put together to help me describe some of my health issues and needs, thank you for taking the time to read it and be concerned for me as your friend and Sister in Christ...I'm also going to post it on my FB page Awareness 4YSIC because I believe it is a truly considerate and appropriately helpful letter for any and all who are concerned about my health situation...

As Lori’s caregiver, soon to be recognized by the State, I’ve done extensive research to fully understand what Lori’s body is going through to better take care of her when the time calls for it.  I believe it’s very important for others close to Lori to also understand what is happening to her liver and the affects it has on her mind and the rest of her body.  Please feel free to share this information with anyone else you believe might benefit from it.

She has what’s called non-alcoholic cirrhosis of the liver, also known as chronic liver disease, or fatty liver disease.  This is a chronic illness, meaning it’s ongoing and incurable (except in the long-term form of a liver transplant). Chronic liver disease is the continual scarring of the liver until it is no longer able to function.  The liver’s primary purpose is to process all of the nutrients and toxins that go into the body.  This isn’t just food, it includes lotions we put on our skin, products we put into our hair, and the chemicals used to clean our homes that we inevitably inhale and get on our hands. 

Cirrhosis of the liver means the liver is turning into scar tissue and, over time, this makes it difficult, eventually impossible, for the liver to process any of the nutrients and toxins it’s supposed to process in order for the body, as a whole, to function.  It is this condition that gave her Type 2 Diabetes.

The liver has what’s called a portal vein, which transfers 75% of the blood, nutrients and toxins to the liver for it to process.  As the liver turns to scar tissue, the portal vein suffers.  Toxins and blood back up in the portal vein, much like a kinked hose.  Eventually, these toxins and the blood have to go somewhere.  As Lori’s condition progresses, it will lead to hemorrhaging, or internal bleeding.  In her current stage of cirrhosis, toxins flood her blood stream, which causes severe damage to her other organs, such as her kidneys, bladder, stomach and colon, or intestines. This would explain the continual problems Lori has had with kidney infections, being in and out of the hospital with UTI’s (urinary tract infections), and her more recent development of gastroparesis.

Gastroparesis is a condition in which the muscles in her stomach don’t function properly.  It prevents her stomach from emptying correctly and interferes with digestion, causing nausea, vomiting and many problems with blood sugar levels (visit MayoClinic.com for more information).  In the previous six weeks since agreeing to take care of Lori, it has been common for her blood sugars to be at 110, which are good, and drop to 56 in less than 30 minutes.  If Lori’s blood sugars drop into the 30s, her body has a very high chance of going into a coma.  Just this previous Sunday (June 2^nd), Lori had three episodes of dropping to the low 40s in less than 18 hours.  I’ve monitored her eating habits and she has a strict diet that I help her maintain.  The fluctuations are due to the gastroparesis, caused by her chronic liver disease.  Apart from treating the symptoms, there is no cure for gastroparesis.  It isn’t like an infection and needs a simple antibiotic.  Unfortunately, her body has not been willing to cooperate very effectively with the medications. 

In addition to this, toxins unable to be processed by her liver that spread to her abdominal organs also spread to her brain.  It leads to dizzy spells, confusion, double vision, disorientation and the like.  This is the primary reason Lori cannot drive a vehicle.  It would be like handing keys to someone who is chronically intoxicated.   There are times during the day Lori is doing well, but there are also days, sometimes several days in a row, where it’s difficult for her to cross a room without grabbing hold of something for balance.  This imbalance leads to very dangerous falls.  The last one caused her to shatter her left wrist, which now has a plate and eight screws in it.  One of the symptoms of chronic liver disease is osteoporosis.  She is prone to easy breaks, hence her wrist.  Because of this, the safest form of exercise is for Lori to be in a pool.  She cannot go on long walks because she lacks the energy, and also because of the likelihood she could fall and have another bad break.  It’s very important for Lori to be able to be active, because in order for her to be eligible for a liver transplant when the time comes for it, she needs to be at a certain weight, which is where the pool comes in.  Any other form of activity, with her imbalance, is simply too dangerous.

One sobering aspect of this condition is that in a matter of 48 hours, at any time, Lori can go from seeming perfectly healthy to hemorrhaging or go into a coma due to the cirrhosis.  This is the point where she’ll need a liver transplant.  There is no way to tell when this time will come.  It could be next year, five years from now, or as soon as tomorrow.  Each drop of her blood sugars, each trip to the hospital, and every time she’s spends a few days sick in bed could mean that time has arrived.

This is a lot of information to process.  I encourage you, as part of Lori’s small group, to do some research on your own about what is happening to Lori’s body in order to better understand what it is she’s going through.  We’re called to uphold the weak and be patient with all (1 Thessalonians 5:14), bear with one another (Colossians 3:13), comfort one another (1 Thessalonians 5:11), have compassion on one another (1 Peter 3:8), to not grumble against one another (James 5:9) and, above all, to love one another (1 John 3:11).  Lori can manage her symptoms to a point, but what’s happening to her body is essentially beyond her control.

While I am Lori’s official caregiver, she needs assistance 24/7 and I am not capable of doing that all on my own.  When her sugars drop at 2am and she’s unable to get out of bed to get the food she needs to get her sugars back up, I’m awake with her doing it for her.  This is not enabling, it’s helping someone who can’t help themselves, much like the Samaritan who helped the man beaten on the side of the road.  The same goes for when Lori needs a ride to small group, when she needs someone to sit with her at the hospital and write down what the doctors say because she can’t focus on his words, when she needs help picking up her son Alex from the bus station, or dropping him off when she gets to see him once every six weeks, or when she needs someone to help her pick up David from the Carlson’s house so she can have her one day out of the month with her grandson.  This is not enabling her.  This is helping a woman who is otherwise unable to do things on her own.  If she can’t find someone to help, she doesn’t get the help she needs, or she doesn’t get time with the people that matter most to her – her children and grandchild. 

It’s very important to remember that Lori must get worse before she gets better.  This disease will eventually kill Lori if she doesn’t get a liver transplant.  As time passes, the condition of her body worsens, and she needs more help.  Sometimes she’s unable to do the things she originally planned to do because her body won’t let her.  If Lori pushes herself too hard, she can wind up spending a week in bed while her body attempts to get back to what’s considered “normal” with her condition.  She tends to push herself too hard when she can’t get the help she needs from others, and will try to do it herself.  She’s learning to have me as a caregiver, but this is very difficult for a woman used to caring for others and being able to do everything on her own.  Please understand that when she asks for help, she’d rather not ask at all and do it on her own.  If she asks for help, it’s because she genuinely needs it.

I hope this letter clarifies what is going on with our sister, and that you find it in your heart to be understanding.  If you want to learn more about this condition, www.mayoclinic.com has a lot of useful links and more in-depth information.  If you have any questions, please ask Lori or myself and we’ll be more than happy to answer them and clear up any confusion.

Your sister in Christ,

Sam